Hellllllo, future home.

(source)

I'll see you soon. Just don't rain on me. 

Marijuana

This isn't some insightful post about drugs in Chile because how would I even know about stuff like that? But a friend of mine has to write a 10-page essay and in solidarity I'm helping her gather some data. 

The questionnaire takes literally 30 seconds and if you fill it out it boosts your karma. And who doesn't love karma? 

GO HERE

Thanks!

Empanadas and dogs

In the spirit of avoiding writing my essay and studying for my exams,  I'm gonna post something. Anything. We'll see what happens.

--I woke up at the ungodly hour of 8:30 this morning and so decided to reward myself my actually eating breakfast. Since I usually fail to keep the fridge and cupboards stocked beyond a few days of eating, I had to go to the local supermarket (I use that term lightly. They don't sell alcohol or liquid soap or tweezers) to pick up tomatoes (man am I going to miss how cheap these things are). While there I decided to be lazy and just buy empanadas, which are sold frozen but which heat up really fast in this thing they have here called an oven, which I've discovered works even better than a microwave, albeit slower. I had about 3,000 pesos worth of stuff and paid with a 10,000 peso note because that is what the ATM gives me, so shoot me. The cashier starts grumbling about it though, and starts talking with the woman waiting behind me about "these extranjeras who flash their money around". Or something along those lines. I got the gist. 

HOW RUDE! (Anyone remember the show Full House? Man, good times) Granted, I've seen this cashier before and she's convinced I don't speak any Spanish at all. The last time I was buying empanadas (which are frozen solid, might I remind you) she started talking really fast about something which sounded like "do you know that you have to cook these before you eat them" and I figured I wasn't understanding her because well, DUH. But a guy standing next to me translated it into English and she WAS in fact concerned that as the obvious gringa that I am, I would just clamp down on the frozen food and sort of salivate over it until it thawed out. Maybe I'm just really misinterpreting the situation but I've looked at it from all angles and that seems to be it. Any thoughts?

--There is a dog outside my window. Well, there's hundreds of dogs, if any country needs Bob Barker's campaign of "get your pets spayed and neutered" it's Chile. But there is this one dog in particular that waits until I'm ready to fall asleep and then starts whining and barking really loudly at equal intervals so after a while you start feeling like you're going insane. And then you start imagining all the things that you could do to that dog like ripping off its tail or slitting its throat and watching the blood gush out. And I LOVE dogs, I really do. I often have to physically restrain myself from petting some of the ones on the street, but this one dog I absolutely despise. And of course imagining all these cruel things you would do to the dog means that when you finally do fall asleep your dreams are really disturbing. 

--Where are all these umbrella vendors that are supposed to be a dime a dozen on the street right now? And why is one umbrella masculine and two umbrellas feminine? 

--Funny/sad story about umbrellas. I was trying to explain to the woman I live with that I need to buy an umbrella. So I said "necesito comprar un parapluie". She looked at me like I was crazy, but I'm used to that. Apparently paragua is the Spanish word for umbrella whereas parapluie is the French. Figures.

--We're supposed to be getting wi-fi in the apartment tonight. I say "supposed to" because my hopes have been lifted and shattered over this wi-fi for about two weeks now. 

--I can't find my cell phone charger. (Update: found it. Yes, my life is riveting)

--I really, really don't want to do any work right now.  

Reply

Email I received in response to a post on craigslist, searching for a room to rent:

hi im italian from californian living alone in santiago. i am very open minded practice tanatra and have swinger friends woudl that be a probelm with you?? [sic]

What I miss about America

--Food that doesn't have massive amounts of salt in it. My family (in America) only uses salt for mashed potatoes and to raise the boiling point of water (thank you 10th grade honors chemistry). And even though I'M suffering, it's apparently still not enough for certain people. 

--JAMBA JUICE. Argentina had a massive amount of smoothies everywhere. Here, you can only find juice. It's great juice, but it's no Jamba. 

--Fast internet. 

--Electric stoves. I am totally paranoid about dying a slow painless death due to gas leak. Though actually I vastly prefer gas stoves for cooking. 

--Soy products. Primarily tofu and soy milk. Mmmmm, soy milk. 

--Not having it be such an issue when I want to buy tampons. 

--For that matter not having to go on a blessed scavenger hunt when I do. 

--Ethnic food. Thai, Indian, hell even Mexican with my newfound love for avocado. I'm getting seriously a little fed up with (ha!) the completos, bife al pobres, and other cheap Chilean eats. Especially in light of all the salt. 

--Having a proper desk in my room. My posture has become awful. 

--Not getting approached by every single restaurant or bar owner during lunch or dinner hours. And it's almost always lunch or dinner hour. It's fine if you're by yourself and can put your headphones in and act oblivious to the world. But if you're out with friends and happen to be visiting the local fish market, eventually you want to take a large salmon and beat over the head the next Chilean who tries to talk to you. 

--Not having to be so paranoid every single minute that you're outside. 

I'm going to stop this list here because I don't want people to think that I don't like it here. Every place will have it's unpleasantries and  believe me, I've got one at least as long about things I'll miss about Chile. For example, views like this: